He may be 19 now, but I will always remember him best as that boy who looked so much like the first actor to own my heart. In fact, for years I only knew him by his nickname.
Was it ten years ago? As one child actor was making waves internationally for his role in the runaway hit, The Way Home, another wave had crashed ashore on my small screen. I was just minding my own business that day in 2002, but a monster called Hallyu grabbed me by the neck and threw me inside a dungeon where I was fed a stream of chaste dramas with stars whose names sounded like Bae Yong-joon, Choi Ji-woo and Lee Byung-hun. Two years later, Hallyu smacked me hard with a force called So Ji-sub. Life would never be the same again.
Is Ja Myung Go any good? How about What Star Did You Come From? What do you mean, why am I asking? I’m doing research for a paper, if you must know. Astronomy in ancient Korea, yup, that be my research topic. Look, is it any of your business that I’m researching Jung Ryeo-won and not Kim Myung-min? What do you mean, I’m a bad Kim Myung-min fan? Just be grateful I’m not using Google Scholar to dig up dirt on Choi Si-won’s mysterious here-today-gone-tomorrow bump in cheek. No, I didn’t say it was an implant; someone else did! What do you mean, Jung Ryeo-won has had plastic surgery too? Take that back, take all your evil words back! The last time I was this gaga over an actress was five long years ago and you have to spoil it for me now? No, I’m not referring to Shin Mina in Mawang; she and I go way back, before 2007. No, it’s not Lee Ji-ah in Legend either! Look, just answer my first two questions, will you? Yes, they are pressing questions!
I don’t get the pop culture references (Sechs Kies who?), I’m perplexed by the screaming (people in love whisper sweet nothings to each other, not yell their lungs out, eyes blazing), I like but am not enamored of the lead couple. (What?! Did you just say that? Are you feverish? How you crazy?) I also don’t remember behaving this puerile when I was eighteen. By that age I had already experienced the loss of a father and the wrath of a customer whose pristine white skirt I had just made un-pristine with a generous serving of Coke. Of the latter… okay, I have butter fingers but hey, it was my first job and no one told me that placing a tall glass at the edge of a tray was a bad idea.
That title is all kinds of wrong. In the first place we are not feathered beings and in the second place we despise feathered beings.
True that. But if we change it to “In which scales are rearranged,” would it be obvious that they are the scales that cover us and not the scales that you weigh things with? More importantly, would readers know it’s a ranty post?
Let’s not get carried away with the idiom wordplay. I say we title it thus: Five unhappy lizards. Because make no bones about it, what she’s done this week is simply the last straw. It’s going to hell in a handbasket is what it is, no beating around the bush on that.
Word. Night after futile night of waiting for her to start watching again and what is the first drama she finally picks? It’s enough to get my tail in a twist.
It’s October. This fact may mean something or nothing to you, but to an occasional kdrama reviewer—one with her own kdrama blog to boot—the tenth month of the year is usually that time to start checking numbers and planning a list of sorts, or maybe even three or more lists: crack, crap, hot, not.
These lists are only possible, of course, if you have finished four or more dramas and they conveniently happen to be crack, crap, hot and not respectively (“hot” and “not” referring to actors; a drama is never “hot,” not even when it leaves you all hot and bothered). The ideal is finishing at least nine by this time (one a month?), not a feat when you consider how many dramas air in a year. (Less ideal is merely watching fifteen minutes of the first episode and then judging the whole drama based on that cursory viewing.) In the past I’ve sometimes managed to watch close to twenty dramas, finishing twelve or more by mid-December. Not this year, though. As of now I’ve only finished Fermentation Family. That makes for a grand total of ONE.
In a decade of addiction I’ve not clocked a slower pace. No wonder I hear all these noises in the night and find more droppings than usual; the lizards in my room are displeased and they make sure I know it.