In which feathers are ruffled

By thundie • December 5, 2012

That title is all kinds of wrong. In the first place we are not feathered beings and in the second place we despise feathered beings.

True that. But if we change it to “In which scales are rearranged,” would it be obvious that they are the scales that cover us and not the scales that you weigh things with? More importantly, would readers know it’s a ranty post?

Let’s not get carried away with the idiom wordplay. I say we title it thus: Five unhappy lizards. Because make no bones about it, what she’s done this week is simply the last straw. It’s going to hell in a handbasket is what it is, no beating around the bush on that.

Word. Night after futile night of waiting for her to start watching again and what is the first drama she finally picks? It’s enough to get my tail in a twist.

Panties. Panties in a bunch is what you mean.

Panties, boxers, who cares? What matters the most right now is our suffering. Our thwarted desires! Twenty episodes come and gone and not a second of it have we watched, not one! And she calls herself a fan, too. Traitor!

At least we got to see him last year on that drama where he played a king who was not only wise and brave, he was prettier than his queen. And the year before that where he was that pair of eyes that saw beneath and beyond what everyone else saw, all the while twirling his fan most nonchalantly. On both historical occasions—and that’s not merely a figurative turn of phrase but the actual genre— he stole the show.

But when he gets to play lead at last on the small screen, what happens? She chooses to watch another drama! About an old man who’s not a nice guy at all!

Tell me about it. The guy’s not just a bad guy, he’s a total miscreant. To win your vaunted ratings war, you have no scruples about sending a delivery man to near-certain death? And when the worst happens—which everyone can see coming a mile away—and the bike crashes and the rider is three seconds away from breathing his last, your first thought is to get that wretched film tape to the TV station. It’s all you care about!

Why are you shaking your toe pad at me? I’m not some dastardly lord of dramas.

But it’s not his character that we have problems with, it’s that we have seen it all before. Didn’t that old chap play a similar role in some hospital? He wanted to be chief of surgery so bad he stopped at nothing to get his way. He was brilliant but so reviled, with everyone just waiting for his downfall so that they could bury his nose in a pile of poop. The scheming and bribing, the grand rivalry. The setting’s different of course, but everything about the old guy’s acting is so familiar.

He’s not old, is he? That hospital drama was, what, five years ago? He actually looks younger this time and a lot more dapper. And about being typecast, I’m not going to complain about that if the drama’s loads of fun and it is. I hope we get to watch Episode 5 tonight.

I doubt it. Her strategy, if it can even be called that since there’s little rhyme or reason in how she plans her watching, seems to be two episodes of this drama followed by two of that salaryman stuff. The same actress plays the lead in both and all of a sudden she can’t get enough of said actress. What a turnaround. Remember that 2005 baking drama that made us laugh so hard we were losing our tails every night? This actress played second lead there but she couldn’t stand her then and forwarded all her scenes.

Is there a reason we’re not mentioning names in this post? We’re playing Guess the Drama and Guess the Actor? But I thought we decided we were not going to write in her abstruse way and instead strive to be as clear and straightforward as possible?

The reason is so that this post does not turn up on search engines.

That’s right. It’s just us lower beings ranting and who wants to read that? At this jolly time of the year no less. So we speak in circles while bemoaning our fates. Why, oh why, were we hatched in this house of all houses?

I don’t mind this house. Of course I would be a happier camper if her eight chinchillas did not create such a din every night. Without fail she has to pause an episode multiple times to go check on them and coo, “Now, now, why are my sweet babies so noisy? Want another apple twig?”

Don’t rub it in. For all the work we do around here, what thanks do we get? Because of us she hasn’t been bitten by a mosquito in weeks and yet we don’t get to watch Song Joong-ki!

I thought we said no names? But I guess if we must make an exception it will be for him. Hell, why stop there? Song Joong-ki, saranghaeyo! There, that should do it. Now anyone typing his name will be directed here. Just like that her blog will cross the 3-million-hits mark, just watch.

But imagine people’s reaction when they come to this post expecting his pics.

Exactly. You’re just setting everyone up for a huge letdown. Moreover, it’s his 2012 drama that they want to read about, not stuff that he did previously. See, that’s my beef with her choice of dramas and her writing. She just isn’t terribly current.

But the one she’s watching now is current. It’s also action-filled and gripping, albeit a little too obvious sometimes and farfetched to boot. And even though the other drama isn’t current, it’s still a 2012 drama and the funniest thing we have watched in a long while. Both are riveting in their own ways. I thought we like the male leads too. Didn’t we swoon over their 2007 dramas when they both played doctors? Played their roles so brilliantly she got smitten and went on a mad buying spree of their other masterpieces. That’s how we ended up watching that abysmal movie about a gangster wife, the third one in that series.

Forget buying and watching sprees; those dizzy days aren’t returning, mark my word. Not only is she watching in dribs and drabs now, she’s stopped screencapping. Stopped completely! Don’t anyone blame us for all the feathers on this page.

You know what’s sadder? It’s year-end review time but we won’t get to read all the juicy stuff that other blogs are rolling out because she absolutely refuses to read anything to do with dramas that she hasn’t watched yet but plan to watch, perhaps someday. That stupid no-spoilers resolve needs to die!

Might be easier to just move across the street.

I say we band together and do something. Demand that she gives us Song Joong-ki. And Lee Min-ho. And… Oh, listing all the hot young actors that we’re missing out this year is just going to send me into a state of depression. Can you see me spinning out of control right now?

Here, let me hold your tail. There, feel better? If it’s any consolation, we can look forward to Choi Si-won tomorrow. He’s a riot in King, is he not? You admitted it as much yesterday. And didn’t we get to see Jung Gyu-woon in the shower in Episode 2 or 3 of Salaryman?

I see we’re throwing all caution and decorum to the wind. Oh, why not? If we don’t stick up for aggrieved kdrama fans near and far, who will? And even for those more fortunate than us, who continue to have their fill of everything hot and current with no letup, it’s still necessary to vent sometimes. Well, do it on this post then.

Since we are championing a cause, shall we give ourselves a name? After all, we are more than house lizards. We write, we spark discourse, we even offer advice on blogging. Let’s think of a name that’s clever, catchy and cuddly, something that’s so us. What would that be?

Love Bugs.

Categorised in: K-dramas, K-reflections

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